Hello Glock 19. There is a lot of information on this post and one thing I might add. Before the new TS had HVAC load shed I installed a 12VDC control relay in the TS to hold off the AC compressor during standby. It wires off the 194/23 connections. The relay receives 12VDC from the controller as the controller trips the TR in the TS. I used the closed contact and opens on transfer. This is a simple way to drop the load out permanently during standby. The closed contact is wired in line to break a low voltage control wire to the compressor. Usually Yellow. (you will have to run one from the relay contact to the AC contactor)
Also on the AC quick start issue, meaning when the power blinks on the AC and it tries to restart in seconds after the blink . It is rough on the unit. The pressures in the compressor have not equalized and the pressure on the high side are at the peak. Go to a HVAC supplier or on line and purchase a time delay relay made for that purpose. It is adjustable in minute settings and wires in line with the low voltage contactor of the compressor. After the power drops to the AC compressor, on restart voltage to the AC the timer will start counting and hold off the AC contactor for minutes until the pressure is equalized then allow it to start. I have had these timers on my ACs for 25 years just to protect the high pressure start. Before I ever installed a generator. Good luck, sounds like you are sneaking up on all the issues.
Even with HVAC load shed I think your idea of a relay that would completely eliminate the A/C while on gen power is a good idea. Taking the A/C compressor out of the circuit would be an inexpensive way to prevent the heavy load and lugging on the gen on A/C cycles. However, here in Texas, the summers get a little warm and if one is at home they sure want that cooling to take place. If away from home it could definitely work.definitely be used.
In my situation, it appears the installation of a soft start solution would also provide a time delay feature.
I was under the impression that most modern A/C units had a time delay relay built into the unit. Am I wrong??
Also, on the time delay relay are we talking "milliseconds" of no AC power and restart to activate the relay and disable the compressor?